This is the year… the year after I gave up my passion.

On the first day of school one week ago, I saw my administration in the hallway. Like all amazing front office personnel, they asked me how things were going and if I needed anything. {They most likely meant… any transportation or bus number information we can help you with?}
My eyes filled with tears…

Let me explain…

This is the year after, the year after I gave up my passion.
{You can read about this experience here.}

The hole in my heart stayed with me the whole school year.
Not that I didn’t have fun and enjoy teaching another grade. I truly did.
But when you know what you were put on this Earth to do…
it is hard to NOT be doing it.
My passion for Kindergarten did not change, yet I evolved as a person, mother, and teacher.
I was able to expand my comfort zone by allowing me to be a better teacher and better person.

This Year

And as I shared with you all, at the end of the school year, I heard.
First, I found out that I would be able to return to my favorite grade, Kindergarten, for this school year.
I was able to go back to my heart and soul. Heart healing let’s begin.

Honestly my room was not “done” at meet the teacher.
Since I was at a new school and therefore a new room,
I just could not “see” how everything would function with students yet.
Then, I face several barriers to basic classroom prep.
I have no window, sink, or cabinets in this new room.
More so, I had to leave 4 short but long shelves, classroom carpet, an art easel, and other school purchased items at my other school.
After purchasing a new carpet for my new room… I simply do not have the funds for these much desired items yet.
But each room is its own work in progress. (You can check on my room reveal here if you are interested. 🙂 )

The Imperfect

We had meet the teacher.
Most of the parents had no clue who I was.
The parents who did know me “thought” of me as an upper grade teacher.
There were shocked faces when they learned… I have taught Kindergarten for ten years.
See… I love this grade.
I am “back” home.

I met my students.
They are perfectly imperfect.
What a blessing they are because I know God hand picked those names for me.
And I know we get to start a HUGE, FUN, and MEANINGFUL 180 day journey.

I don’t know a lot about how this year…
the year after I gave up my passion, will be.
This is the year I was blessed to get my passion BACK.

But here is what I do know.

I am more grateful for the tedious classroom moving and prep
in the classroom without windows, sink, or cabinets.
Those things don’t matter. I get to setup a classroom to teach Kindergarten. 

Now, it doesn’t bother me that my room isn’t perfect or that all the details are not done.
I know it is a beautiful work in progress and it will get better in time.
These things will get a little better each and every day.
Then, I get to transform my classroom into perfection as I teach Kindergarten.

What I don’t Care About

And I don’t care that my students are very young and full of energy.
I don’t care that I have many more boys than girls.
These children matter, regardless of their age, maturity, or gender. I get to teach Kindergarten to them. 

First, I don’t care how tiring and exhausting the first day of school is.
Secondly, I don’t care how tedious the first few weeks will be.
I don’t even care how many children will need shoes tied, nose wiped, or boo boos fixed.
Because I get to teach life skills, social skills, and more skills in Kindergarten.

Next, I don’t care that I will be changing up my comfortable scope and sequence to a new one.
I don’t care what I will have to reorganize ALL my themed tubs.
{And you know I have a LOT of them.}
Because I get to collaborate with new AMAZING, dedicated teachers and learn so much through them.
And I get to share ideas with them to improve our Kindergarten program.

What Matters

First, I am the most grateful.
Then, I am the most happy.
Next, I am the most excited.
I thought I was meant to teach Kindergarten.
And after teaching another grade, I KNOW I am meant to teach Kindergarten.

Last year was a great, humbling, and honest year for me as a teacher.

I learn

The details don’t really matter.
A few details can help us. Other details can hinder us.
More details can make things easier. Some details can make things harder.
What matters is your mindset.
And what matters is the decisions you make today
and everyday to be the most grateful that
YOU GET to do this job. 

Back to my Story

Back to my true story.
On the first day of school one week ago, on my first day BACK in Kindergarten, I saw my administration in the hallway.
Like all amazing front office personnel, they asked me how things were going and if I needed anything.
{They most likely meant… any transportation or bus number information we can help you with?}
My eyes filled with tears…
tears of pure joy and happiness.
I literally said, “Everything is amazing. I can’t even talk about…” as my eyes watered and I held back my emotions.

First, I gave my principal a hug and wiped a stray tear away.
Then, I did the same to my assistant principal who was literally walking towards us and asking me the same question.

Next, I wanted to scream THANK YOU.
Then, I wanted to tell them how much it meant to me to be standing in the kindergarten classroom this year.
I simply could not say it.
Because if I did, I would have lost it and did the ugly cry…
in the hallway… on the first day of school.

I smiled and simply said.  “I can’t even talk about how wonderful it is.”