The One With the “Friends” References

Everything we need to know about teaching,
we have watched in episodes of Friends.

It is 100% true and I am going to prove it.

Have you ever listened to two students are working together
and try to encourage each other?
Stand by, close enough to listen and you hear…

That is the kind of encouragement no teacher can do better.
No one gets other students… like other students.

Then there is that time when a group of students is talking.
You can’t tell exact which student it is…
so you ask anyone who was talking to stand up.
Some one does.
You ask them what was being said..

And then you hear the truth.
Someone said the “F” word.
Someone said “fart.”
And now you have lost the class for the next 5 minutes as giggling takes over.

And those endless situations when a mystery someone “steals”
something from that one student…
the one student who misplaces everything…
But YES someone stole there pencil/lunch money/jacket/lunch box.Every year after we study community helpers, it happens.
THAT student asks for the police.
Hey friend… you lost your jacket in gym.
We don’t need the police involved in this one.
We can just walk down there and look for it.

You can always count on a teacher to say things
that a normal person would NEVER could or would say.
And 99% of the time, random events in the classroom
MAKE US say the most random things.

I think we have all had a few students who take it upon themselves
to change their own name.
Sometimes they like to choose a super hero.
Other times they choose a celebrity’s name.
Sometimes, we don’t understand why they change it.
And just that easy they change it back.

YES, we hear about the private family business
that those six year old has no clue is actually private.
We know when a sibling is in big trouble.
We know when mom and dad were fighting.
We know too much.

And when the parents find out WE KNOW…

Fun times. Oh fun times.

I did have a student once who found out I was pregnant before anyone else.
I blame it on morning sickness.
The parent asked me if I was.
The look on my face said it all.
They nicely agreed to NOT say anything for a while.
AND they got their child to agree to it as well.
I did have to let that child tell my other students I was preggo when it was time.

All teachers should know that the ONLY kind of band aid
you give out at school are the PLAIN ones.
DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT give out fun ones.
You will go through the whole box in minutes.

And you know…
once the first student asks for a band aid,
one simple band aid…
whether they need it or not…
the whole class wants one.

This is literally the thought that is running through your mind…

Injuries do occur.
Most are small, like a small scrap or a paper cut.
Many students want to go see the school nurse.
Well, you can’t always go see the nurse,
especially when a stomach bug or flu germs are going around.
What is a teacher to do?

Yep… offer up some sarcasm to get them laughing
and keep it in perspective…
I usually ask if they need their finger amputated.
That gets them laughing.
Then send me down the hall to get a sip of water…
since water is like band aids, the natural cure all.

We have all come across a student who we just can’t fully understand.
We are missing some connecting piece to make sense of them.
We love them, we cherish them, but we just don’t get it.

Then we hold a parent/ teacher conference…and it all makes sense!
{not the medical experiments part}

Either you learn how close the apple falls from the tree or
that parent FINALLY tells you something important you need
to know about the student’s history.

This may just be a southern thing,
but every year we have at least ONE student who is obsessed with camouflage.
They wear it every.single.day.
Additionally, said student truly believes in the power of the camo
and therefore blends into the classroom environment.
Additionally… they like to test it out the power of the camo often.
Just play along.
Someone did it for you and made your day.
Do it for them too.
They can’t camouflage their smile.

One of the main components of teaching the younger grades
is teaching students to get along with others.
A HUGE part of this is learning to say “I’m sorry.”
We think…
Hey friend, we know you didn’t mean it.
Your tone of voice said it all.

But be glad you at least got the words out of their mouth.
Progress.

Kindergarten is also the land of dress up.
Any and all opportunities to dress up as princesses,
storybook characters, community helpers, or
even dress down in pajamas for Polar Express day…
really does put them in a better mood.

After over a decade in the classroom,
I have become remarkable at reading students’ handwriting
and attempts at handwriting…
But there are those times I am still stunned and
it takes me a minute to figure out what a student is trying to say… And I am also an expert at hiding my face behind my confusion…as well as that moment of understanding.

When in doubt, pull out the trick, “Now read to me what you wrote.”
And we all know K students are capable of writing whole sentences backwards.
It still looks correct in their eyes.

One of the joys of teaching this grade is that new student who arrives at your door at 10:45.
They are so sweet and so shy, almost not willing to talk at all.
Additionally,  you can not pronounce their name!
Or it is a name with more than one pronunciation.
You ask them to spell it for you, hoping they know.Then you give up.
You can just call them “Sweet girl” until you can ask the office to find out for your again.

Last, but never the least.
When you take ALL these lessons from everyday…sometimes you just can’t.
You just can’t.

And no one can blame you.

Thanks to my friend Bonnie Katheryn for this blog post which inspired me.